Updated: Oct 24, 2020
A great thing to let go of today..
Worrying about what others think, the expectations of parents, family and whoever else you're relying on for acceptance..
I cannot tell you how many clients I have spoken with who have been living their whole lives based on either proving a point to their parents/family members, ex's, friends even (!!), silently pleading for approval or validation they are very unlikely to get, or doing it to spite those same people. And in ALL cases the adult child. is. absolutely. miserable..
Remember this - if you're relying on the approval, praise or acceptance of others, you are literally handing over your happiness, and your life, to them.. and that my darling rarely goes well.
We spend SO much time worrying about what others think, whether we are disappointing them, whether they are going to say 'I told you so', that we create lives for ourselves that are not in alignment with anything about us. And that's where illnesses, depression, anger, sadness, addictions, and big mistakes come from.
I promise you this .. if you stop, really stop, and reassess exactly what you want your life to look like, from lifestyle, health, income sources, business ventures, hobbies, interests, family dynamics, parenting, friends and so on, and compare that list with what you're actually doing right now in those areas, it will not only NOT match up, but it'll make you feel pretty uncomfortable. You'll see, as I did, just how far you've strayed from WHO YOU ARE in order to please others.
What is it we are actually afraid of? What happens IF we finally get our parents approval? What then. What's the cost of someone saying oh you're good enough 'now', when you don't love who you've become or the life you've been chasing, in order to make someone else happy?
Don't you DARE stay small to avoid disappointing others. Your growth, your happiness, your life choices (if you follow your heart and your instincts and chase what YOU want), THREATENS others, some parents included.
Why? Because they are choosing to stay small or they didn't chase their dreams because they did what others wanted and are unhappy themselves, and because your courage, your happiness and your growth, highlights their regrets..
Rather than be who we are not, in order to get validation from 'them' (whoever them is lol), why not look at it this way.. What if you stepping out of the System and chasing who YOU are is the very thing that not only sets you free, is also what shows them what is possible for them?
And if they don't see it, and still don't approve, and criticize and carry on, then that's their choice. And what if they do see it, and end up cheering you on and/or start chasing their dreams?
At least you will be living a life you absolutely LOVE. And remember this, your kids learn what they live. So if they see their parents staying small, being obedient, submissive and compliant, submitting to addiction, staying in destructive relationships, jobs they hate, lives that make them angry, resentful and sad, you can bet they'll never dare to chase their dreams either..
Never underestimate the value of doing something that makes you cry with laughter..
Think about something silly you can do and just go do it. Rope a friend in so that you can laugh about it in the future. Post your mischief on social media and start a challenge. Life is so short, you may as well enjoy yourself!