‘40% of premature deaths are due to behaviours that could have been changed’ – University of Pennsylvania - Quoted by Katy Milkman, who’s research relies on big data and field experiments around human behaviour (my favourite topic!). So, what are these behaviours that lengthen our life and add quality to it, and how can we change if we are choosing habits that will hinder our chances? More importantly though, how can we make those changes lasting? The things we choose to do,
As children (due to circumstance and environment) we make specific decisions that are our driving Mantra for the rest of our lives.. They become our limits, that we unwittingly choose! * How can I make my father happy? * How can I prove to everyone I'm a good person? * How can I stay invisible and small so that no one sees me and criticizes me? * How can I stay numb so I don't feel this pain yet still function day to day? * How can I make sure I punish myself properly? (Becau
What if the people you’ve chosen to surround yourself with on a daily basis are those matching your limiting beliefs? ..and your beliefs about yourself and the world around you aren't that great.. Meaning they can do nothing other than deliver what your subconscious mind is expecting.. It’s confronting to realise that we have chosen our situation. And even more so when we look back and see that’s it’s been a pattern.
‘I didn’t ask for this! No one would! How dare you suggest
Nothing in life has meaning other than the meaning YOU assign to it.. How does that work? Something happens – let’s say someone looks at you in a ‘funny’ way. Then you assign a meaning to it: 'Did you SEE the way they looked at me!'
'They think I’m stupid'
'They think they are better than me'
'I know what they are thinking'
'They are judging me'
'They hate me'
'They are going to hurt me' And depending on what meaning you assign to it, that shapes your experience of it. So tha
Is it really your belief that you are not in control? You can 100% influence what your life looks like.. How? .. What you do today, from this morning, and all day, will directly impact your 'today', your 'now', in 8 weeks.. With each choice today (water, food, money, personal interactions, movement, rituals, habits and thoughts) preclude it with these questions: ✔ Am I being true to my word? ✔ How will this impact my future? ✔ What are the consequences if I don't do this now?
The first thing you must do is forgive yourself for the ways you learned to survive.. If all you knew as a child was abuse, how on earth could you begin to know how to love yourself? ‘If my own parents abused me/didn’t protect me/frightened me/fought constantly/said hateful things to me/hated each other/left etc (false evidence), then I MUST be, or become (survival tactic): * Unlovable * Unworthy * A pig, stupid, a slut, a piece of shit, disgusting, fat, skinny, too tall, too
There’s a delicate line between not giving a $%&# about what others think, and reputation, and character.. Every day you are creating the future that you will one day look back on as your past.. ✔ What you do and say
✔ How you treat people
✔ How you treat yourself
✔ Choices you make around health, love, money, trust and community
✔ Promises you make
✔ Promises you break All of today is shaping how you, and others, will look back on you in the future. Looking at wha
Unless someone is ready to take responsibility for their well-being, you are wasting your time, energy, love and money.. You can listen, rescue, advise and/or finance. And they will let you as long as you are willing to.. and nothing will change. And six months, 2 years.. longer even, they are still making the same choices, using the same excuses, telling you they are still broke, blaming the same people or situations, still with the same partner they've been complaining abou
Regardless of where our limiting beliefs originated from, we are beholden to them until WE stop believing they are true.. ‘You’re useless’
‘You’re just like your father/mother/sister’
‘You’re too much/not enough’
‘You’re in the way’
‘Who cares what you want’
‘Are you stupid or something!’
‘You’re too pretty to be smart’
‘You’re too tall/short/fat/skinny, no one will want to be with you’
‘Don’t get better marks than your brother, he’s been so sick and we want him to have SOMET
This week I experienced the most profound example of something that I teach all of my clients around mindset. Only days apart I spoke with two women who had had a double mastectomy, both a few years post surgery.. The first is, by her own admission, about 10 kilos over a healthy weight, still smokes, and drinks, and indulges in regular junk food binges. When she was telling me about her unhealthy choices I asked her why she was still doing it despite what had happened to her.
'A vacation is a break you take when you can no longer take what you've been taking'.. Interesting quote and a concerning sign of the times.. Why do we wait until we are totally burnt out to take time for a break? And is that time then spent truly relaxing, being in the moment and experiencing happiness with where we are and who we are with? What would happen if we planned a mini break, say every two or three months, nothing extravagant, just step away for a weekend and slow
After coaching 100 people in the last 6 months of 2018 I was struck by the common cord they all shared. Two potent and lethal beliefs, deeply ingrained in their mind and body, dictating their choices, forming the way they experience the world. * I’m not good enough * I don’t deserve ‘it’ - with ‘it’ varying from love, acceptance, peace of mind, a loving safe relationship, financial security, a healthy body, friends, a rewarding job, respect, and even parenthood. And these bel
noun: worry 1. the act of causing yourself anxiety over actual or potential problems, 2. An obsession with ‘what ifs’ and worst-case scenarios. Worrying is a state of mind, not something that will actually achieve anything other than working you into a pink fit, making you lose sleep, sanity, health and sensibility. If you HAVE a problem, work out what ACTION you can take immediately to address it. If it’s a potential problem, something that MIGHT happen in the future, ask yo
Written January 2016, the day after a very bad day. Remember all those times you thought you wouldn't survive, and then you survived? Today might be one of those days. Yesterday maybe you didn't think you'd survive. But you did. How are you feeling today? Are there things you could have done yesterday that would have left you feeling better today? Was there a conversation you could have had? An invitation to play that you could have said yes to, instead of not going? An apolo